Steamroller

Monday, October 6, 2014

Time in a Bottle

"If I could create time in a bottle" I would sure use it differently than Jim Croce did in his hit song from 1973... I would create 'turn back time' or some other equally vane, almost Cher like potion that would make MY looks go back, but perhaps not those of my mortal enemies...  (a girl CAN dream...)

It is about 349 days until the big 4 0  (I will not count it down to the second for you here, but let's just say my clock too is ticking ... on my phone)   I went to the Dermatologist again on Friday, and it went something like this.

Note it all took place AFTER me asking numerous questions about a scar on my leg that occurred in 2007 while drunk in Mexico - i.e. therefore still young and cool - and being that in all the various times I've seen my derm since there, something irrevelant and forgotten about, until this very moment.. and here we were laught about it like two frat boys.. "yeah, so I was in Mexico,, and I got like, nailed, um literally, like to a crate and shit... " I may actually have said that.  ok. Most probably have said that.  She assured me it was all 'totally cool' and may or may not have said my battle scar was a little 'cool.'

Me:  So, I'm um, I'm uh 39 now.  And, um, I'm wondering how my skin is doing.. um. from your professional perspective.... (trailing off)

She looks at me, and then moves in closer, and there may or may not have been a magnifine glass at this point, I could very well have blacked out for parts.   I do remember lots of affirmative moans, and nodding when I sort of snapped back into it.

Dr:"Yes, yes.. your skin is very good.  You are at this point in time NOT a candidiate for botox"

Me: WHAT?  WHAT?  I'm WHAT?

Dr.  I said you are NOT a candidate for botox, your skin is fantastic.

Me:  I didn't ask about that.  Why... do you think I am going to need Botox?

Dr. (laughing) no. I don't think you will need it, I don't think anyone NEEDS it, but some want it, and I wasn't assuming you wanted it, I am just telling you that right now you aren't a candidate, your wrinkles aren't big enough, also, once people start, they don't want to stop, and you are a little young.

Me: Silence.  I've run out of things to say. I may have blacked out. I walked in being so anti botox or any other filler, just there to get my lattise prescription, and a little helpful advice about my skin, and make sure I wear enough sunscreen...    My brain seriously over loaded.  She said Botox, and it was as if an electric cattle prodder zapped me.

I sat there, still, eyes closed, then open then closed (I could have been blinking like an epileptic owl for all I know... ) as she continued to look around my face.

Dr: You are still an excellent candidate for latisee.

Me: yesssssssss.   Slipped out of my lips. it was the reason I was there, why oh why spend a ton of time on make up, when you can slap on a little latisse daily, and have gorgeous eyelashes,but to make myself feel better, I prodded her.

Really?  they are feeling pretty sparse.

Dr: no, you have perfect beds of eyelashes.  they  just need a little kick to grow nice and lush.

Me:  Oh sweet mother of god - I got what I wanted, the rest of this visit it what ever. she can stab me with what ever the hell she wants, I got my latisse refilled!  I probably did a football victory dance at this point...

Dr:  What are you using for skin care?

Me: I proudly rattle off the litany of stuff I get from my cousin who works for kiehls at a discount, she nods in approval, and says she loves their products, I feel a swell of pride, yet I'm waiting for the shoe to drop..

Dr. But she wants me to add a Retin A, and perhaps plump up my vitamin C cream, and oh yes there is this other stuff that our bodies stop making at 30 that I am most likely lacking...     I hear the cash register outside of the door cha- chinging, and feel my credit card being pulled under...

I ask her what I need today to start - she says about $40 worth of product and a visit to one of her drop in (i.e. cost free) clinics, to move to the next level. I tell her I am game and jump off the counter, almost forgetting to cover my 'drunken in mexico' mark as I fling open the door which is keeping me from my latisse.

Oh my darling Latisse.  We have been reunited, and it feels soooo soooo sooo very very good.

and I left with a frequent buyer card, which is good for latisese, and later it's good for botox too...
and I also left with the notion that I feel like I dodged a huge bullet from the steam roller of 40 that is chasing me (It shots bullets now!)

I may have much much more to learn about life, but for now, my face doesn't have to show it...

Now if you excuse me, I need to go pull some time from a bottle out and put it on my face....

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